Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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