"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
