wat bout pragnant strippers??
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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