People with herpes should wear stickers.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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