Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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