i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize