do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
