Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
