i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
