I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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