let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
