Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize