and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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