Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
