i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
