i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize