pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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