you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
