Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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