So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
