WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
