We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
