Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
