I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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