fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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