There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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