Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
