the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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