I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
