member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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