I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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