fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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