Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Pooping to opera.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
