Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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