haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
