I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
