I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
