i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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