I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize