I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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