is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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