i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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