a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
