I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
