considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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