Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
