just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
