If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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