Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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