...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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