whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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