all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
