At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
