i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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