you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
