you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Found the puke drawer
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize