So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
