me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
