ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
