where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
