your room smells of hookers.
And success
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize